Meet Yourself Where You Are: The "Quarantine Fifteen"
It seems like everyone I’ve spoken to recently has complained about gaining weight while quarantining against the coronavirus. The endless hours spent at home watching TV, drinking, and eating has resulted in what many are calling the “Quarantine Fifteen.”
Me in 2017, living my best life in Australia.
As someone who has always struggled with weight and body insecurity, the extra weight gained in quarantine has been like a shadow in my mind: always there, never gone. And, when I stepped on the scale a couple of weeks ago to “check-in” on myself after months of avoiding it out of fear, I unfortunately discovered that I am now at the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. What made this especially disappointing, was the fact that I had gone through a whole weight loss journey a couple of years ago and had lost a lot of weight. But, more than simply losing the weight, I had made a whole lifestyle change. I was so much fitter, stronger, more agile, and actually had confidence in myself for once.
And then, the perfect shit-storm happened.
Out of nowhere, one day while I was home in Seattle on break, I was driving and got rear-ended at full speed while stopped at a red light. Because of the subsequent back problems, I couldn’t work out anymore. Then came my last quarter at college and the stress had me eating more junk food. These two things by themselves might not have done anything, but together they caused a serious weight gain for me. I managed to get the weight gain under control and was even making progress back to a healthy lifestyle, but then I moved to New York City where I had a difficult time adjusting. And THEN, just when I thought I had finally managed to get my feet under me, Coronavirus quarantine happened. Needless to say, it was a big wallop from the universe that had me metaphorically shaking my fist to the heavens more than once.
So…what’s to be done?
A couple of weeks ago, (as you can see in the pic/caption below) I came to the realization that I don’t want to have this adversarial relationship with my body anymore. What’s the use? What’s the use of telling myself, “I have to lose weight,” or “I should have lost so much weight by now,” or “If I don’t lose weight, I won’t get cast in stuff”? There is none.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not healthy right now. As a result of all the good habits slipping away, bad habits have replaced them. I live a mostly sedentary lifestyle, I overeat junk but under-eat foods that are good for you, and the workouts that used to be no problem for me are now extremely difficult. I want to get back to that healthy lifestyle that I had worked towards before. However, I can’t start from where I think I SHOULD be. Rather, my journey starts from where I currently AM. And there’s absolutely no need to beat myself up along the way. It is what it is.
Now, I know it’s not going to be easy to keep that mentality, the habit of kicking myself while I’m down will pop up again every once in a while. But I hope that at least by beginning to address the absolutely toxic way we treat our own bodies sometimes, I can contribute to a movement that focuses on treating your body like a friend, and not a foe.
Quarantine is temporary. Accept yourself for who you are today without judgment so that you can work towards your goals in a healthy way.
We’re in this together.
xx Selma